MegaMicroMistake

sssssssooooooooooooo….. had a pretty frustrating day at the zoo today. and with being able to keep a smile around82BILLION kids plus finicky animal eaters getting frustrated at work takes a lot, or is it a little??? oh well moving on. the avg person does not realize nor could understand that ALL of the exhibits are built from the ground up LITERALLY. because of exotic disease and parasites the actual ground is usually specially made and shipped in. the substrate in zoo Atlanta petting zoo looks like straight dirty but is in fact a specific excavator substrate similar to that people buy for lizard terrariums. this not only helps with germs and cross contamination, but also is absorbent for the animals to pee on, loose so no plants could really grow, and main easily to scoop poo up! a few days ago i noticed that i’d started seeing rocks which means the substrate was getting low. lead keeper put in an order for more. sounds simple enough right? it’s the same stuff we have we just want more of it….. come in to work today… yard cover in rocks??? ROCKS!?! Now again not expecting you guys to full understand so let me try a bit harder to help you grasp my frustration…. you see the zoo pays for this dirt approx $4 per pound and with about 1ton(2000lbs) the zoo doesnt want us to just scoop it up and dump it at the end of the day. Which means we order the fine material and sift the poo out like a giant litterbox. So with substrate BIGGER than the poo it was extremely hard not to just sweep up all the dirt. we were trying all sorts of ways to get the stuff up… 😦 its amazing how a decimal place can REALLLY screw up your day…

 

The whimsical beginnings of the slave trade

I’m never really one to play the race card…in fact I hate people who do. I find racist and racial stereotypes simply hilarious. But I just finished watching the revamped Alice in wonderland(mostly out of boredom over curiosity), decent movie, Great for the EMO kids out there. But isn’t really a RonReview moreso it is RonRant. So as the movie is ending and I’m thinking maybe my borderline EMO friends,YES if you are a Tim Burton fan that makes you EMO, might have been right about this one time. Sidenote should I set spoiler alerts? I mean its a old flick….I’ll do it anyways

 
*SPOILER ALERT*:
vvvvvvvv

      Alice takes her fathers business partner into her private office unrolled a map and says “now I know you and my father were planning to start a trade route to sumatra. But what if we didn’t stop there but went as far east as China? No ones ever done that before. Could you image it? Trading with China!” Then next scene she boarding a ship head held high with the boat pointing to the east…

^^^^^^^^^^

*SPOILER ALERT*
Seriously!?! I can’t be the ONLY one to make the connection……Really!?! ….I mean sometimes I hate the way my mind thinks… BUT CMonSon! (East Indian Trading Company if you haven’t figured it out by now) You’re gonna sit here and tell me one of the biggest slave trade companies was thought up, planned and ran by a little girls hallucinogenic comma!? And even if it was do you have to add that to a Disney movie Mr.Burton!? Yea I’ve heard the jokes about Disney being an evil empire but dam. I mean who says “wheres that was a decent ending but what if, now here me out, what if at the end we show them planning a slave trade and last scene we shoot her looking off into the horizon with hope in her eye of white supremacy and just fade to black….bowbow instant classic!”

LSDsnuggle

Ok so I’m taking a quick break from all this movie review shit to talk about something else for a change. Starting to feel like Gene Shalit, you know the goofy dude with the mustache doing reviews from what seems like a closet or attic and nobodys listening…. you know I’ve always wanted to sing the praises of Snuggle. Yes SNUGGLE! I’m not gonna say I was poor growing up. I’ll say I was sheltered from beeing the sheltered. yea I like the sound of that… anyway beeing from that lifestyle a lot of random stuff was deemed an “unnecessary expense” especial something as frivolous as fabric softener. I mean its not steel wool, or aluminum, its cotton its already soft right??? WRONG. Apparently the makers of Snuggle are also blackmarket angel poachers because the ONLY way to make cotton softer is with angels blood! I mean seriously, I’ve been washing clothes for 20yrs and NEVER have I EVER felt anything so dam soft before! The 1st time I used it I had to stop and check to see if the clothes were even mines…. my clothes weren’t that soft when I put them IN the wash. So its not possible to be softer coming out unless you’re using some kind of celestial organic molecule. Putting clothes on right after washing them in Snuggle is like having sex with the empress of fantasia while riding fallkor to krispy kreme. It’s like my clothes were all re-woven by the good witch of the north in the wizard of oz(why didn’t that trick tell Dorothy about clicking her heels together when she first got the slippers? Trays some fucked up shit.)that bear clearly lace that shit with LSD….and I’m its newest junky

HangOVER pt2: the ugly fat chick you regretted doing

Marketing and big business has, in my opinion, always been the down fall of most things good in the world. The success of a trend turned meaningless cookie cutter products for the masses have always sucked the life out of most peoples hobbies… mines you ask… movies and sequels…the hangover pt2 was no exception to this phenomena apparently. I so wanted this movie to be great so much so that I watched it twice. But a last no. Let’s just go ahead and get it out the way since I know you’re scrolling looking for a grade cuz you’re in line right know. Imma say go see it but don’t expect much C+. The Hangover pt2 is such a shirt tail ride off the popularity of the 1st I would go as far as to say if you just kinda want to watch it. Watch your special edition Hangover BluRay in thaï. You’ll still laugh more than I did during hangover pt2. I really feel like Todd Phillips took a couple of focus groups and found out what the best parts of the 1st and said “let’s do that”. I mean EVERYTHING. I mean there are differences….like superman v. BizarroSuperman…sane but different…this wasn’t a sequel moreso a remake by Asians. Its still kinda funny. Like telling a  real life hangover story, its funny to hear but not as fun as being there. I say if you’re looking for a seriously funny flix I said go see bridesmaids instead, before they come out with bridesmaid 2: bridezillas wrath.

I’m so tech I call them APPLICATIONS

I realize I haven’t really been blogging about my experience with my evo and the “now network.” but the evos been out long enough for yall to make up yall own minds about getting it and if not here’s my verdict… get it.
Ok now that you got it let us discuss the next dilemma(although dilemma is kinda a big word, I can’t think of a less serious word) the app world. The Droid market is MASSIVE and with such masstivity(new fav word!) comes more crap. And although most of us just fiddle around in the free section it still a waste of time and SDspace(cuz we KNOW you couldn’t afford the 16GB) so allow me to list a few of My fav apps so far…

Color Touch: PhotoShops lil buddy
One of the main reasons for buying my Evo was for the awesome 8mp camera and it really impresses. I’ve taken drunk pics in total darkness, that any other cameraphone would wouldn’t even turn on for come out looking like professional wedding pictures. Now i dabble in PhotoShop. I do it so much to the point where I won’t put a pic up on FB without touch ups. So of course one of the first things I searched for were photo apps. So image my giddiness when I found PhotoShop lite then my disappointment after I downloaded it…..i mean what was Adobe thinking when they put that crap out!?! It was just basic color over lays and not very good ones. Honorable mention goes to pic say. It was my 2nd photo app. And although its clearly geared towards high school girls. Its got plenty of different features and enough bells and whistles for people wanting to just be a little goofy with there pics. So still determined to find a good photo app I take one more shot in the dark and try Color touch. Nifty little program, just as the name says it deal with just color. But with the ability to layer on effects on the whole pic or brush it on where you want.

It’s the perfect app for a quick PhotoShop on the go. Adobe I hope you’re reading this… PULL THAT LITE CRAP OFF THE MARKET!

gTunes: two levels above iTunes
      So my 2nd requirement in my phones is massive memory for music. Which the evo has. But lack luster speaker… we’re not here to discuss the hardware though… I love all types of music for the most part and a lot of what I like are random one hitters that I hear on the radio or in the club. That’s where Sound Hound comes in. Sound Hound is a music recognition app that opens right up to just one giant button, which is great for those moments when you come in at the end of a song you’ve been trying to get the name for weeks! It also has the ability to recognize songs if you sing a few bars. I know I got my trey songz on a few times to get the songs!! It’s features after the track is ID’ded(yep nother new word) are pretty nifty as well. YouTube the vid. Find the lyrics(great for any Flocka Flame song). And buy the tracks VIA amazon. But I know the demographics of my followers and my followers know me….. we ain’t paying for shit! And with my pc gone, my phone and ps3 are my main source of tech. So 1st music downloader I tried was DroidG2. Horrible searcher plus it refused to turn off so its a major battery killer. And with the evos battery life shorter than hamster sex DroidG2 isn’t worth. At the same time I downloaded that waste of cyberspace I also got my hands on gTunes app. It’s a clean app that uses 2separate search engines  and does a great job at finding pretty much anything you want for free! I pretty much filled up my 8GBcard in a week!

I also have to give honorable mention to TubeMP3 an app which allows you to convert your fav music vids to mp3s.

Mint:Fresh change of pace

  Now that I’m becoming an adult money has become a major topic. Although looking back I’m trying to figure out why hasn’t always been??? I have been paying more attention to where my money goes so maybe I could stop it from going…. turns out it all goes into my belly(in my Austin powers fat bastard accent). But there’s a cool website called mint.com

Alright guys I’m tired of writing but those are my top ones. But here’s a list of what else I have on the evo:

archMedia-app allows me to play vids in formats not compatible with the Droid player

ColorNote-handy lil app with does quick sticky notes then can be sorted, filed and locked

CraigsNotifica-setups constant searches on Craigslist and notifies you when items are found

Ebay

Skype

ooVoo-vid chat

Ustream

Kayak- pretty good travel app for finding cheap plane tickets

Now I know some of yall are like “WTF where the games!?” Grow Up! Here’s a list of my games:

Teeter-use the accelometer(the tilt thingy) to get the ball in the hole

PaperToss-Simple game of throwing paper in the trash made fun AND HARD

Ninjump- help a thieving ninja steal a bowl of rice by help him scale and jump back and forth between what has to be 2of the tallest buildings ever.

The Moron Test-by far my most addictive game. Just a few simple childish questions to make you feel so stupid
And there you have it…4months of playing around in the android market and not getting in REAL work done for you guys. You better appreciate all I do for you!

I’m so Tech I call them APPLICATIONS!

I realize I haven’t really been blogging about my experience with my evo and the “now network.” but the evos been out long enough for yall to make up yall own minds about getting it and if not here’s my verdict… get it.
Ok now that you got it let us discuss the next dilemma(although dilemma is kinda a big word, I can’t think of a less serious word) the app world. The Droid market is MASSIVE and with such masstivity(new fav word!) comes more crap. And although most of us just fiddle around in the free section it still a waste of time and SDspace(cuz we KNOW you couldn’t afford the 16GB) so allow me to list a few of My fav apps so far…

Color Touch: PhotoShops lil buddy
One of the main reasons for buying my Evo was for the awesome 8mp camera and it really impresses. I’ve taken drunk pics in total darkness, that any other cameraphone would wouldn’t even turn on for come out looking like professional wedding pictures. Now i dabble in PhotoShop. I do it so much to the point where I won’t put a pic up on FB without touch ups. So of course one of the first things I searched for were photo apps. So image my giddiness when I found PhotoShop lite then my disappointment after I downloaded it…..i mean what was Adobe thinking when they put that crap out!?! It was just basic color over lays and not very good ones. Honorable mention goes to pic say. It was my 2nd photo app. And although its clearly geared towards high school girls. Its got plenty of different features and enough bells and whistles for people wanting to just be a little goofy with there pics. So still determined to find a good photo app I take one more shot in the dark and try Color touch. Nifty little program, just as the name says it deal with just color. But with the ability to layer on effects on the whole pic or brush it on where you want.

It’s the perfect app for a quick PhotoShop on the go. Adobe I hope you’re reading this… PULL THAT LITE CRAP OFF THE MARKET!

gTunes: two levels above iTunes
      So my 2nd requirement in my phones is massive memory for music. Which the evo has. But lack luster speaker… we’re not here to discuss the hardware though… I love all types of music for the most part and a lot of what I like are random one hitters that I hear on the radio or in the club. That’s where Sound Hound comes in. Sound Hound is a music recognition app that opens right up to just one giant button, which is great for those moments when you come in at the end of a song you’ve been trying to get the name for weeks! It also has the ability to recognize songs if you sing a few bars. I know I got my trey songz on a few times to get the songs!! It’s features after the track is ID’ded(yep nother new word) are pretty nifty as well. YouTube the vid. Find the lyrics(great for any Flocka Flame song). And buy the tracks VIA amazon. But I know the demographics of my followers and my followers know me….. we ain’t paying for shit! And with my pc gone, my phone and ps3 are my main source of tech. So 1st music downloader I tried was DroidG2. Horrible searcher plus it refused to turn off so its a major battery killer. And with the evos battery life shorter than hamster sex DroidG2 isn’t worth. At the same time I downloaded that waste of cyberspace I also got my hands on gTunes app. It’s a clean app that uses 2separate search engines  and does a great job at finding pretty much anything you want for free! I pretty much filled up my 8GBcard in a week!

I also have to give honorable mention to TubeMP3 an app which allows you to convert your fav music vids to mp3s.

Mint:Fresh change of pace

  Now that I’m becoming an adult money has become a major topic. Although looking back I’m trying to figure out why hasn’t always been??? I have been paying more attention to where my money goes so maybe I could stop it from going…. turns out it all goes into my belly(in my Austin powers fat bastard accent). But there’s a cool website called mint.com

Alright guys I’m tired of writing but those are my top ones. But here’s a list of what else I have on the evo:

archMedia-app allows me to play vids in formats not compatible with the Droid player

ColorNote-handy lil app with does quick sticky notes then can be sorted, filed and locked

CraigsNotifica-setups constant searches on Craigslist and notifies you when items are found

Ebay

Skype

ooVoo-vid chat

Ustream

Kayak- pretty good travel app for finding cheap plane tickets

Now I know some of yall are like “WTF where the games!?” Grow Up! Here’s a list of my games:

Teeter-use the accelometer(the tilt thingy) to get the ball in the hole

PaperToss-Simple game of throwing paper in the trash made fun AND HARD

Ninjump- help a thieving ninja steal a bowl of rice by help him scale and jump back and forth between what has to be 2of the tallest buildings ever.

The Moron Test-by far my most addictive game. Just a few simple childish questions to make you feel so stupid
And there you have it…4months of playing around in the android market and not getting in REAL work done for you guys. You better appreciate all I do for you!

Virtual Reality IS your REALITY pt2

so to FURTHER prove my point on the reality of our reality I’d like to address an issue that’s been bugging since the invention of the notification…FBday wishes. We all know how this works for the most part. But I do have some  “older” followers so let’s entertain them a bit… FB sends an email informing you of people birthdays in the next week. THEN you get a notification of Birthdays the day of… now upon this broadcast over public web you receive 82billion HBDs from well wishers that normally wouldn’t notice you in the streets let alone remember your birthday. But more baffling than this innate feeling of obligation to wish someone a happy birthday is the genuine gratitude  the recipients get from, in my opinion, such an impersonal gesture …. I feel the whole cycle is impersonal. So in an effort to bring back SOME of the life back into this almost automated process for the past two years I try my best to personally thank each person who writes on my wall. But it still urks me to see it happening more and more. Especially with the new news feed setup that shows all the Bday wishes.. so this year I tired something different….Pulled My Bday off FB. Just to see if I get just as many, if any, well wishers. And wouldn’t you know it day of my Birthday Not a single happy birthday(excluding the superfriends of course). People were just going about their daily FBlives tagging me in random YouTube vids posting crap on my wall. It was almost as if it wasn’t even my bday. Then a funny thing happened superfriend Pablo posted happy birthday on my wall 20sec before the day was up, barely making the deadline(sleepy Mexican).But apparently this shows on the news feed and all Saturday(THE DAY AFTER MY BDAY) I got people wishing me happy birthday. Not anywhere near as many as if the notification was set. About 5-10% but still right. So once again FB has proven itself an omnipotent power, changing my birthday to a day of its choosing….can you say skynet…..

DMV to Do List

Well so finally paid off my MASSIVE debt to the state government. Then had to go to the dreaded DMV to get a new license… I get there and of course everyone there look like this place is sucking their life force. But with my bright outlook on life and my sunshine just a call away I could careless. So I smile and take my number..62..what number are they own? 37 GEEZUS!?!  So I pull out my untrusty evo and started seeing what all I can do. Here’s what I got done(not in this order just going off the top of my head):
    My DmV To Do List-
1.Changed my oil
   I’ve been riding around with this oil for close to a week…. no time like the present right.
2.Cleaned out the inside of the truck.
  My followers know me and Bruce stay in some mud and my floor mats show it….
3.Increase my tweeting stamina
   I have never seen a #FailWale and always wondered what such a magical creature would look like… maybe a like capt ahab pegging moby Dick….
4.Take a nap…
   TwittersBoring
5.get some DQ ice cream
    It’s hot! And I have had haven’t had any ice cream in ever.
6.Call My Mother
   Hell that’s and hour there…I have to feel a certain way when I call her
7. Relace my kicks
   I’ve had some coco brown chucks for a month without pipping out the laces. Just been rocking  straightlace….
8.Start a blog
   I realized this list is getting longer than I thought.. might need to start writing before I forget
9.call my sunshine
   She didn’t answer:'(
10.Call my Monkey
    She ain’t doing
11.take some pictures of what passes for “cars” in the country
       Caught this one leaving….wheelchair in the bed…just renewed his handicap sticker…     -__-

   This dude has 2 straps holding his hood down and they pass the inspection!?

  
This guys tailgate was literally hanging on by a thread

  
DODGE DART!!

12. CHECK MY NUMBER!?!
      just 50…. o__0
13. Easy drop on these girls arguing
     Apparently D is about to get “kicked the Fuck out” if he dont get a job soon and she don’t care how good the sex is or that he baby sits her kids..
14. Catch up on my new Thai phrases
    I subscribe to a sexy Thai chicks YouTube channel and she tries to post 2-3 phrases every few days. But I haven’t been really watching them lately
15.Call work
    cuz I’m gonna be late..
16. More ease dropping..
      The cute momma behind me is consoling her dumb brat of a daughter for failing the permit test :~\I’m not ready for kids
ANNNNND #62 gets called!!!!!
Who says you cant get shit done at the DMV!!….

…So, I get to the lady to get my license and they can’t let me have it because my Debt card doesn’t have my name on it and they close in 5mins x__X #Dead

Virtual Reality is YOUR REALITY

There was a debate on the radio awhile back(yes I still listen to regular radio I feel it keeps me in touch with other peoples world. Do something BOUT IT!) asking if Facebook still a viable network or is it on a decline? Now of course it was a 50/50 split between the youngsters and the elderly. But I’ve noticed that my generation is on the fence about this topic(and pretty much technology in general) the main opposition in that “It’s not that serious” this statement usually preceded by a VERY serious argument with a significant other… Now I purposely made my profile public when RonRacer became Googleble and since the start of the better man lessons I’ve been getting random Questions from random chicks. One of the Most common subject The FBrelationship status(number one is what is he thinking… :~\ don’t even get me started on that one) Women, being the emotional creatures they are, but also being human, have two different processes when FINALLY finding a man.1st is pure fuzzy Disneyland excitement where colors become brighter kinda like going through the tunnel to toontown and nothing but love songs come on… 2nd a sort of starving hyena hunters instinct where the laughing needs to stop cuz she hasn’t “eaten” and needs to slowly and quitely sneak up to make this pounce work. My hypotheses is that these two processes, although happens sequentially in the order I set it, its almost simultaneously occurring in two different parts of the brain. Again I’m digressing from the true topic here… what does this have to do with FBstatus? Well when these two signals head up the plexus they clash. Women(as well as some men) want to show off their new relationship, and rightfully so. They endured so much crap from the past guys and this ones “different” and you want peoples approval(or Atleast to throw it in their faces) AND to ward off the other hyenas that’s starving as well. But the 2nd synapes is saying play it cool don’t scare him away, you don’t know where your next meal will come from…. Now some women have come up with an elegant but unsatisfying solution to this. Just click “in a relationship” problem with this is anyone can just click that button when they feel like it see look   and although you get 50M likes its still an empty win PLUS the supposite BF is still single “Wtf is up with that shit”. Another solution is forcible tag…… we should all know how this is a bad thing right?? So then that’s when both parties ask “Is it that serious” IMO #HELLYES! The whole point of Facebook is to show the world what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with. It’s like a marriage without the wedding(or some form of announcement party). With friends and family nowadays being spread across the earth social networks are more important and significant. I’m not gonna go as far as saying Yall need to be together in matching profile pictures but claiming each other on Facebook is the same as telling the slutpuppies in the club you have a girlfriend when they ask for your number. Cuz what do they do when they go home??? #FriendRequestSent. Now I know Yall have been reading all this waiting on my advise in how to handle this….yyyeeaaa, don’t really have a solution…sorry can’t answer them all.. what I can say is approach the situation as would a child molesting clown(too far?) easily and jokingly. For some reason no one likes ultimatums. But just know If its Not on FACEBOOK its NOT True~RonRacer

4th meal

People often ate amazed by what I eat and how much I eat and there’s always two main feelings towards my diet, astonishment or disgust… upon thus disgust comes facts about how meat is killed slaughtered packaged and cooked… little do they know I’m an animal scientist and frequently participate in such barbaric rituals as BBQs. Then comes the scare tactics where they bring up all the urban legends of the fast food industry like I haven’t heard them all… so of course when a friend of mine put on het status “Don’t be shocked because taco bell doesn’t use real meat” I had to come to the aid of one of my favorite fast food chains. Now everyone commenting talking about now they want to be vegetarian….. C’Mon son do yall honestly think the USDA would allow some sort of gross by product to be sold?? You can barely find dog food made with byproducts anymore. And if it isn’t meat what do you think it is?? You guy do realize that if its not beef its soy and wheat right?? So switching to vegetarianism after hearing fast food beef is only 40% real beef is almost oxymoronic seeing that the other 60% is vegetables….. “Grade D” meat is actually called standard(there is no such thing as D) and is just from older cows 4yrs old and up there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. We meat eaters just happen to like eating babies over adults i.e. veal(baby sheep) grade A/prime cut(young cows) and the accusations of insect eggs in the meat then hatching in the woman’s mouth is just an urban legend.1st find me a Respectable news company that reported on this.2nd IF this was true taco bell is a franchise so that would clearly be an isolated matter and a question of the sanitation of that specific restaurant. Also a question of why that chick didn’t brush her teeth in the time it takes for eggs to hatch….. so just chill and let elmo has his lemonade…