Big Bruce Dies a Heros death…

Well as many of you know my truck, aka Big Bruce, might have taken his last breath today. .. But if it indeed was, it was a warriors death.

Back story for those who dont know; Big Bruce is my Dodge Ram truck. my battleship. we have been to hell and back. I have sank him in water, hit trees, and pulling shit FAR larger then 1/2ton. This has weighed heavily on his heart. and lead to tranny issues which i fixed and more recently loss of compression to multiple cylinders… I have been taking it easy on the country boy truck life and driving like a city boy until i could get another engine

So it has been raining elephants and emus here in Georgia lately and on my way home I saw a car down in a ditch. This is a regular occurrence around atlanta, some atliens are horrible drivers. As i drive closer i see the interior light is on and think to myself “whoa, this must have just happened!?” and sure enough when i get even closer i see a head moving in the back seat and then i see someone walking up the street.

Now i have a constant struggle within myself about things like this.

 confession: I pick up hitchhikers. yes, i think ALL people should pick them up! i mean these people are walking down dangerous streets. usually just trying to get home.

Everyone always tries to warn me about stopping for people on the side of the road which makes me second guess my policy on picking people up. So i actually drove past a little but then thought “fuck that, I’m going to help.” So i bust a U-turn and pull up to the guy walking. He tells me  he lives around the corner and was going to get his car and the woman in the car, his friend, is calling the cops. I told him that the cops will take forever and that theres water getting in his engine, we need to get it up now. I immediately start kicking myself, I mean i wanna help, but bruce is pretty much running 5cylinders with 40% treads on the tires, i have got NO business helping. I cant help it though, I like to help, i like to do manly things, and I like showing off. We go back to the car. by now it feels like the rain has gotten harder…. I pull out my toe straps a tell the guy make sure they arent hooked to anything but the frame. Im not going down there, i am in stacy adams and khaki slacks i’m not getting in the mud. After hooking up i hop in the truck and give bruce a pep talk.

ok bruce we just need to yank this car out and i’ll take you for some premium gas. so let just do this and be done

Starting off slowly because i’m not sure where this guy put the straps but i have yanked bumpers off. After a few tugs i felt it was good and tight AND this car is really stuck! By this time the cops have showed up, turn the lights on, and is causing a scene. talk about pressure. Third times a charm right? Wrong. one of my straps popped. Good grief.  maybe this might be more than i thought i could handle(and i thought i could handle a lot!) so we move the straps and use my winch cable. This time i’m going for gold. I put some slack in the rope and gun it! The truck bucks as the ditch refuses to let go of this little car But i feel bruce slowly moving. Then the wheels lose grip, now i’m burning rubber, bruce is yelling as we slowly disappear into our own cloud of pride smoke BUT we are moving! And sure enough out comes the car! I get out trying to control my pride because inside i’m doing the captain morgan pose. I shake everyones hand and take only their gratitude then hop in the truck only to see a blinking CEL(Check Engine Light). All my gear heads out there have just gasped in horror because we all know that means catastrophic failure. Fortunately i was about a block from the house so we limped home rolled into the driveway and opened my dyno appto test the engine and got this msg

 

MULTIPLE MISFIRES!!! my truck has basically become a 4cylinder. i turn it off and go i the house. This morning he wouldnt turn over. just turn the key and nothing…he gave his life helping others.

 

 

The Idiotic Idiosyncrasies of an Insane Individual I can call I

You know what #GrindsMyGears women who tell me I’m “Too Perfect”. 1st no such thing, its ether perfect or its not(but that’s besides the point….) 2ndly why must I be hiding something?? Why can’t I be myself and you like that end of story? Why must there be a flaw for you to see and say “Ah HA!, There it is… Something I don’t like about you” it is crazy to date a person with the intent to find what’s wrong with them… I mean I understand, you want to know so you don’t invest you heart in it only to get blindsided by something you can’t handle. But to be SO suspiciously captivated by ones good will intend to the point where you can’t even enjoy a simple complement, because you don’t know if I meant it or I say stuff like that to everyone. SO, WHAT IF I DID SAY IT TO EVERYONE?!?! I SAY GOODNIGHT TO EVERYONE THAT DOESN’T MEAN I CARELESS ABOUT YOU HAVING A BAD NIGHT OR NOT!!  im calm, im calm… But you know what, its not going to stop me one bit. I think you’re beautiful, I’m going to tell you. If you make me smile I’ll smile. If I like your face. I touch your face. Now I’m not saying I don’t lie. Cuz I’ve been known to fib a bit. But its more of omittance or skirting the truth to spare ones feelings.. NOT saying that’s better, just saying Im not hiding myself from you. I just believe that a conversation with someone you are attracted to should an enjoyable one. You should leave it blushing and gushing with all types of mushy gooey lovey dovey feelings. But instead you get off the phone like you just had a conversation with Dr. Lecter. I’m being punished for my eloquence here people! But Its ok. I have devised a pretty entertaining way to help alleviate SOME(I can’t do all cuz clearly there’s some personal crap you need to handle on your on)of the suspicion off me. I have decided to blog about what I feel are my main short comings. Why I am still single; What are my flaws; Why am I so calm about everything; you know the things FutureMrsRacer is trying to figure out before she’s realizes I am I and she should be she. So without further ado I give you,
The Idiotic Idiosyncrasies of an Insane Individual I can call I:
1. I Brush my teeth with hot water. It started as a joke with myself(which in itself is crazy), if I want my teeth extra clean i should use hot water…. But I did it so many times till now I can’t use cold water at all!!

2.I flush the toilet right after I start peeing. I know its starting to seem like a play in the bathroom a lot. But this ones to the contrary of that fact! When I was just a lil racer the last place I liked being was the bathroom. I was certain I’d miss something on tv and usually someone has been there before me and was not kind so to offset this I would try and time myself just right til where the second I stopped that’s when the las swirl went down… Well I got good at it until my bladder grew.. I’m trying to break the habit but its so unconscious before I realize I’m flushing its to late then I have to flush again…

3. If you do not know what the brachial plexus is then NO you can not give me a massage. There is literally 3 millimeters between pleasure and pain and so I’d rather not take that chance just so you can pretend to rub me. AND YES I’m being an ass about this. Matter a fact 

4. I’m an asshole. 

5. Don’t ask for my advising if you’re not going to take it. I KNOW I KNOW. It’s advise not law so you still have to make your own choice. But it just feels like a slap in the face or calling me wrong to not do what I tell you is right..

6. Meet and Greets should be organic… Call me a hopeless romantic or that I watch too much tv. But I just refuse to approach a random woman without warning or just cause. I like the “bump into” or the “random how are you doing startup” but the club pickup or any pickup for that matter, just doesn’t really vibe with my brand of swagger. which if you let the superfriends tell it, has lead to a lot of missed opportunities.

7. I’m slow apparently. I LIKE TO THINK OF IT AS DELIBERATE. I choose my words and actions carefully so there is no discretion about what I’m trying to get out of this relationship.. now I can’t help that sometimes the responses I get are unclear which makes me take a step back instead of forward. MAYBE FUTUREMRSRACER NEEDS TO GET HER HEAD IN THE GAME!!

8. Or should I say 7b…. My last post only leads into this post.. I pick slow women. Definitely NOT on purpose.. like I said earlier I’m slow with purpose. These women are slow of indecision… They can’t decide “what they want from me” “do they really love me” and “is it worth putting our friendship on the line” … YES. but I am too patient and understanding So I’ve sat… and waited… And still waiting(unofficially)…

9. I live with my mother. Although this is temporary and the superfriends have assured me its fine. I cannot lie it is a blow to my confidences to not be where I want to be financially. But my financial goal is to stay out of debt so this is a sacrifice for that goal woman or not.  AND my plans are only 6months behind so FutureMrsRacer can practice a wee bit of patients… She’s made me wait this long -__- But I am a firm believer that a man shouldn’t be seriously dating a woman he can take care of. now if you just fooling around that fine 😉

10. Im kinda lazy

and on that note i don’t want to type anyomore so you’ll just have to learn the rest like regular folks and go down this unpredictable road and chance heart break. but i promise i wont break your heart.

11. i keep my promises 😉 

DMV to Do List

Well so finally paid off my MASSIVE debt to the state government. Then had to go to the dreaded DMV to get a new license… I get there and of course everyone there look like this place is sucking their life force. But with my bright outlook on life and my sunshine just a call away I could careless. So I smile and take my number..62..what number are they own? 37 GEEZUS!?!  So I pull out my untrusty evo and started seeing what all I can do. Here’s what I got done(not in this order just going off the top of my head):
    My DmV To Do List-
1.Changed my oil
   I’ve been riding around with this oil for close to a week…. no time like the present right.
2.Cleaned out the inside of the truck.
  My followers know me and Bruce stay in some mud and my floor mats show it….
3.Increase my tweeting stamina
   I have never seen a #FailWale and always wondered what such a magical creature would look like… maybe a like capt ahab pegging moby Dick….
4.Take a nap…
   TwittersBoring
5.get some DQ ice cream
    It’s hot! And I have had haven’t had any ice cream in ever.
6.Call My Mother
   Hell that’s and hour there…I have to feel a certain way when I call her
7. Relace my kicks
   I’ve had some coco brown chucks for a month without pipping out the laces. Just been rocking  straightlace….
8.Start a blog
   I realized this list is getting longer than I thought.. might need to start writing before I forget
9.call my sunshine
   She didn’t answer:'(
10.Call my Monkey
    She ain’t doing
11.take some pictures of what passes for “cars” in the country
       Caught this one leaving….wheelchair in the bed…just renewed his handicap sticker…     -__-

   This dude has 2 straps holding his hood down and they pass the inspection!?

  
This guys tailgate was literally hanging on by a thread

  
DODGE DART!!

12. CHECK MY NUMBER!?!
      just 50…. o__0
13. Easy drop on these girls arguing
     Apparently D is about to get “kicked the Fuck out” if he dont get a job soon and she don’t care how good the sex is or that he baby sits her kids..
14. Catch up on my new Thai phrases
    I subscribe to a sexy Thai chicks YouTube channel and she tries to post 2-3 phrases every few days. But I haven’t been really watching them lately
15.Call work
    cuz I’m gonna be late..
16. More ease dropping..
      The cute momma behind me is consoling her dumb brat of a daughter for failing the permit test :~\I’m not ready for kids
ANNNNND #62 gets called!!!!!
Who says you cant get shit done at the DMV!!….

…So, I get to the lady to get my license and they can’t let me have it because my Debt card doesn’t have my name on it and they close in 5mins x__X #Dead

Technology v. Old people(& superman)

It occurs to me that this cold war between Technology v. Naturalists(although we’ve all seen terminator enough times to know who wins) is really more so an argument of which way to skin the cat is better. Tech companies are always claiming to make things more user friendly. But I feel as though the simpler they make one task the more task you get. WHO NEEDS SIX HOME SCREENS full OF WIDGETS. Most of the preloaded applicationsyou never need or use. Just cuz somethings easy doesn’t mean you need more work to handle. The age of multitasking is spiraling controllablely like a static tornado grabbing every task you could possibly want to do… Doing too much people. And the gripes coming from the old people is that all this tech is cutting down on human interaction. But I have five apps on my phone that allows me to find see and chat with my friends all over the world! Hell in there day you moved cross town and that was the end of that friendship. I mean look at the kents, supermans parents, they found a baby, told everyone she had him during the winter storm AND PEOPLE BELIEVED THAT WAS POSSIBLE. Really….. now I know what you guys must be thinking. MyDriverRonRacer that was a fictional comicbook, but I’m saying the readers were ok with such a scenario… like that was possible in the early 50s to just not be seen for 2trimesters and pop up with an alien baby!

Up, On, and Poppin Hot Grits

Ok so i started a blogg to say more that what #LameTwitter allows…. clearly  twiiter is for people on a high school level on conversational speak…. i mean who set that limit number?? 140characters really??? was there some scientific formula to say thats all a person needs to get a point across?? moving on, cuz i dont want this to become about #LameTwitter… I AM AN AVID multitasker…. even now i’m searching boots on ebay, car parts on craiglist and chicks on facebook. all while blogging  and thread posting…. so as all this is happening my stomach(who rules my life by the way) reminds me that “HE” put i pot of grit on the stove about 45mins ago “OH SHIT THE GRITS!!!!” i dont know why i tried to run when i’m typing right net to the stove but i get up to get the grits top comes off hot grits popping everywhere needless to say i ate grits, the pc ate grits and i’m pretty sure when i leave the roaches will have whatever grit is left on the floor….. dont ever say i dont help the environment….